It All Started Out As A Joke...

I mean, really, I was kidding when I said Jim Parsons character on The Big Bang Theory was reprising Jaleel White's Urkel character from Family Matters. Sure, there were some similarities but I thought I was joking around. Then this happened:



Now I don't consider myself a Family Matters expert by any stretch of the imagination. But that sure does seem awfully similar to this:



The resemblance is uncanny. Right down to the complete and utter lack of humor in either clip. I'm afraid in my attempt at levity I may have stumbled onto something here. Or maybe stumbled over something is more accurate since I just spent 20 minutes writing about two shows I can't stand. Damn it.

The Difference

As CBS continues to dominate network television I find it interesting to contrast what they do versus what the bungling idiots at NBC do. Now, some of CBS's success can be written off simply by their willingness to write programming that appeals to the older crowd as well as a reliance on formulaic programming that appeals to a broad audience.

As evidenced by "gems" like A Minute To Win It, NBC is certainly catching onto this trick. But the success of CBS goes much beyond that. The "Tiffany Network" has a slick mastery of marketing and promotion that NBC doesn't even come close to.

Here is a prime example. In an attempt to smash NBC's one time unbreakable grip on Thursday night sitcoms CBS has moved the creatively bankrupt ratings smash The Big Bang Theory to 8:00 PM on Thursdays creating what should be a huge showdown for both networks.

CBS handled this by blanketing the media with commercials, billboards, you name it. The night before the Thursday premiere the entire cast of The Big Bang Theory all appeared on Craig Ferguson in an entire hour of promotion for their show.

NBC eschewed a media blitzkrieg, tossed a few (admittedly great) commercials on during the Emmys, and then basically crossed their fingers. The bulk of promotion for Community seemed to center around the cast members Twitter accounts.

The frustrating thing about all of this is that NBC actually has some creative and intelligent programming, far more so than CBS. Community and 30 Rock are far superior to any comedy on CBS. Last seasons Kings was nearly impressive enough to fool me into thinking it was an FX or HBO show.

Obviously NBC can't force people to watch, but it would nice if they at least tried. I guess in NBC's defense I will say this, they pulled out all stops for Outsourced. A show that looks to cater to the lowest common denominator. At least they learned to dumb down their programming to compete with CBS on that level.

Blue Bloods Review

Blue Bloods is a hybrid cop/family drama following several generations of the Reagan family, all of whom serve in the NYPD. Show creators Robin Green and Mitchell Burgess, formerly writers for The Sopranos, Burgess said after years of doing dark television that, “We were very conscious that we wanted to rediscover the hero, and write that, we did the other thing and now we want to do this."

I'm not sure why I was so eager to check this show out. Ordinarily I see a CBS cop show and think "Maybe I would like that if I were twenty years older." Perhaps it is the return of Selleck's stache, the fact that Donnie Wahlberg has turned out to be a damn good actor, or just the fact that Bridget Moynahan is so fucking hot.

The show is a little on the formulaic side but gets by on charisma anyway. Selleck masterfully plays the fatherly authority figure role as Chief of Police Frank Reagan. (Also, I'm not sure, but it looks like he is banging Denis Leary's wife from Rescue Me, god Janet Gavin is a slut) Even better is Donnie Wahlberg as hothead Detective Danny Reagan. An Iraq Veteran who is just a bit intense.

Other than a somewhat cartoonish scene with the Mayor bullying Chief Reagan the Pilot was fairly well done. Many of the characters show promise and the the rest of the cast was good as well. I am also intrigued by hints of a larger underlying conspiracy plot line that could prove entertaining. But here is the real bottom line: If you don't watch Tom Selleck's Stache, the terrorists have already won.

Please don't let the terrorists win.

Grading More New Shows

Shit My Dad Says: B-
I really wanted to like this more than I did. It had a very "sitcommy" feel to it. And not in a "cutesy retro this is fun" way. More of a "crappy, CBS makes TV for old people" way. That being said Shatner was so much fun I am definitely going to keep watching it.

Outsourced: N/A
This show looked pretty much racist to me so I just went ahead and ignored it.

Hawaii 5-0: B
This show was a pleasant surprise. I was concerned that rehashing an old show like this was going to result in a shitty uncreative mess (see Knight Rider). Being on CBS did not exactly help with my concerns. But this was a REALLY fun show. Good action, good cast, good times.

Undercovers: B+
As with any JJ ABrams show this one has a real slick look to it. I am a sucker for a good spy show and this is no exception. The relatively unknown leads (Boris Kudjoe and Gugu Mbatha-Raw) are quite good, alleviating my sole concern. The Pilot didn't blow me away but it showed a lot of promise.

Here is a little Community goodness to put a smile on your face going into the weekend.

Grading The New Shows

There are just too many new shows for me to review them all in long form. So I bring you the TV Review version of speed dating. So far there are enough new shows that I liked that I have already had to make some tough DVR decisions (sorry 90210). I will check back Friday with everything that starts up tonight and Thursday.

Boardwalk Empire: A
What was likely the most anticipated show of the new season delivered big time. Great cast, fantastic sets, and a cinematic feel that would have fit nicely on the big screen. I am looking forward to watching Steve Buscemi play Nucky Thompson for years to come.

Terriers: A
I had no idea what to expect from this show other than I knew I liked Donald Logue when he was on Life. Terriers is a splendid surprise, possibly the best new show I've seen so far this season. It has a great mix of humor and crime-solving that is easy to look forward to every week.

Running Wilde: B+
I am pretty sure I would giggle if Will Arnett was telling me I had cancer. This show gave off a great Arrested Development vibe. Things were a bit outlandish, and all the funnier for being so.

Raising Hope: B
I am glad to see Garret Dillahunt has his own show now. Only downside is he no longer will show up on every other show I like watching as the villain. Raising Hope was pretty funny and I will definitely stick around next week. It also has a touch of the wacky so it fits nicely with Running Wilde.

Detroit 187: A-
I'm going to give this my Southland fan seal of approval. I am not a fan of the CSI/Law And Order formats. This one was much more in the mold of Southland where you are immersed more fully in the gritty streets where all of the action is. Added bonus for the fact that it is interesting/horrifying to see what a hellhole Detroit is.

The Event: C+
The Event had by far the biggest promotional push going into this season. And so far I would say I found it to be the biggest disappointment. The premiere started slow (to be fair that is pretty common) and really only piqued my interest in the last twenty minutes. The nonlinear storylines seemed like a desperate attempt to remind us of Lost. That being said, it is a high budget sci-fi television show, so I will be tuning in next week.

No Ordinary Family: A-
I already said plenty about this during the sneak peek in August. To sm it up, I liked this show a lot. Click here for more.

Lone Star: C+
The early reviews on this show were glowing so I expected this show to really grab me. It didn't. The lead character didn't really suck me in. If you are playing a con man with two wives and a history of ripping people off, you'd better be charismatic for the audience to get behind you(see crooked cop Vic Mackey for pointers).

Nikita: F
This was disappointing bad and I did not even expect it to be good. This show featured some of the worst dialogue I have ever watched.

The Real Event Was The Chuck Premiere

I was intending to go with a The Event post and either hype it up or crap all over it but after watching it I think I am going to reserve judgment until next week. Started slow, threw some interesting stuff at you in the last 20 minutes. I was not blown away by the cast unfortunately. I mention this mostly because I've seen it billed by many people as a potential Lost replacement. Personally, I think that people underestimate how amazing the cast of Lost was, and how much of a difference that made.

Moving onto a show that did not fail to impress, season four premiere of Chuck. Anyone who follows this blog knows I never even watched this show until the readers voted for it in a contest to see what show I would try next. Clearly I am in your debt.

There are "better" shows on TV (Sons of Anarchy comes to mind immediately), but there is no show currently on that is more fun. The best praise I can give to a show is this, my day until 8:00 PM was one huge shit sandwich. Someone called me at 8:45 PM and asked how my day was. Without thinking about it I said "I'm having a great night."

The episode was impressive in its ability to cover so much ground in sixty minutes. The end run of episodes in season three are my favorite of the series so far and Chris Fedak got us right on track, hitting all of the notes that were working so well last year. If I had one complaint it would be that there looks to be a pregnancy plot line coming down the pike, never a good thing.

One of the most endearing things about this show is the fact that the writers are possibly even bigger nerds than I am. As a fun bonus Chuck Versus The Anniversary holds the new record for most pop culture references. Everything from Rocky IV to Seinfeld. And Harry Dean Stanton reprising his role as a Repo Man? Genius.

What New Show Are You Most Excited About?

And I give you the gift of laughter to take you into the weekend.

Wildcard Bitches!!!

I am absolutely starving for something funny to finally grace my television screen. For all of the shortfalls of summer programming the most glaring has to be a the lack of so much as one quality sitcom. After a long summer bereft of comedy Always Sunny In Philadelphia is back to rescue us.

As the undisputed kings of outlandish humor I couldn't be more pleased than to see tonight's episode is labeled "Mac Fights Gay Marriage". Mac is something of a crusader, his previous causes including abortion (he is against it) and Dennis' moms vagina (he was in it).

If you haven't seen this show you are missing the wildest comedy to ever hit the small screen. Every episode is more out there than the last. Whether the gang is putting on a musical (yes they did) or solving the gas crisis (no they did not) things are bound to spin out of control and into the realm of the surreal.

Always Sunny boasts the best sitcom cast since Newsradio (before Lovitz ruined it). When Danny Devito isn't even the funniest guy on your show, things are going pretty damn good. There isn't a single weak link in the cast, every member has their moments.

And elevating the show from good to great is the brilliant Charlie Day (playing Charlie). Every time the show starts getting too far out there, he is right there to push it over the edge. If I were to pick the funniest guy on television right now it would have to be Charlie (no offense Tracy Morgan). Every time he comes onscreen I know laughter is soon to follow.

Hopefully if you are like me you have had this day circled on your TV calendar for weeks now. But if you haven't, then smarten up. You aren't likely to see a funnier thirty minutes all of this fall on network television.



Always Sunny In Philadelphia airs at 10:00 PM Thursdays on FX.

Community FTW

Well, if our vote here was any indication Community might just be OK this fall. Of course my highbrow writing style appeals to a more urbane segment of society and might skew the answers. Boobies.

Apparently my refusal to watch the Emmys meant I missed a few humorous Community spots:

Sex In The Kitchen

I am a complete sucker for the Food Network. In a way the idea of watching cooking shows is a bit on the masochistic side. You watch other people cook amazing looking food, then you watch them eat it. Then you go to your fridge and make a hot pocket and wonder what went wrong in your life.

My hands down favorite show on the Food Network has to be Down Home With The Neelys. And sure, it helps that they are well renowned BBQ restaurateurs from Memphis. But the real show is in the barrage of sexual innuendo, over the top flirting, and overt sexuality in their kitchen.

You are not getting through an episode without Gina assuring Patrick that "she has his sugar right here". Honestly, you can't imagine just how over the top this show is if you haven't seen it. And the fact that they spend the whole time rubbing down meat and such just adds an extra level of dirty to the whole affair.

Speaking of Sex In The Kitchen:

Will You Watch Community Or The Big Bang Theory This Fall?

Of all the intriguing showdowns on network television this fall I find this one the most intriguing. Its a classic match-up of Community's wit and charm vs TBBT's short bus inspired hacky bullshit. TBBT's large viewership advantage leaves me worried that Community might be in trouble.




PS - The Big Bang Theory isn't all bad, Jim Parsons is doing one hell of an Urkel impersonation. Apparently there is an Emmy category for that.

Ten Reasons To Cheer For The End Of Summer

Don't get me wrong, no one wants to see summer go. But with the onset of fall programming I'm here to give you ten reasons to help you feel a little bit better about putting that Slip N Slide away.

1 - Sons of Anarchy

2 - Community

3 - Boardwalk Empire

4 - Fringe

5 - Always Sunny In Philadelphia

6 - Venture Brothers

7 - Human Target

8 - Eastbound and Down

9 - The Good Guys

10 - Chuck


I would love to have linked to promos for Human Target and The Good Guys but Fox is sticking with its time honored tradition of guaranteeing everything on its Friday night schedule gets canceled. Fifteen days from the season premiere and there is not one promo for either show anywhere on the internet.

May The Bridges I Burn Light The Way

I thought Brandon Walsh might give him a run for his money but Dylan McKay is a fucking beast. Dylan is to teen dramas what Mike Tyson was to boxing before the Buster Douglas fight. To this day we have yet to see a character dominate at anywhere near the level of McKay. (The OC's Seth Coen made a nice run at it, but was chopped down too early when the show fell apart in season three.)

Here are a couple of videos to honor the master of teen drama. As always, please ignore that he is at least thirty while filming these.


All this scene is missing is a KHAAAAAAAAAN!


I would have shot him....

Best Male Character 90210

Let's keep this 90210 thing rolling one more day. I think we know there are only two logical options on this poll but I didn't want to snub Joe E Tata...

I Hate Mountain Dew (What Is Wrong With 90210)

As a long time fan of the original Beverly Hills 90210 I was very excited when I heard they were re-launching the franchise two years ago. I watched the entire first season and even stuck around for most of the second as well. But by season two 90210 had become THAT show. The one that sticks around on your DVR for a week or more, the one you only watch AFTER you have watched everything else and you are out of options.

I keep waiting for the breakout character a la Dylan McKay, or the easy to root for good guy to fill Brandon Walsh's shoes. I would even settle for a lovable goof like Steve Sanders, but no dice here either. The cast just seems to lack the charisma of the original.

I don't believe this has anything to do with the quality of the actors either. Characters vacillate between nice and asshole with the flick of a writers pen. What should be a light and fluffy teen drama features disturbing and dark plots. How about a main character killing some guy while drinking and driving, then taking off and never getting caught. Fun times! Now lets get to the real question, who is Annie going to prom with?!

The original 90210 did its share of dark plots, but these developed later in the arc of the show. We had already become comfortable with the characters and it wasn't so jarring. Also, other than the yearly "Just Say No!" episode, you knew what to expect from these characters. Brandon Walsh wasn't going to save Kelli's life one week and then cock block Steve the next episode.

I guess this is just the society we are in now, everything gets ratcheted up to 10. Personally I like my teen dramas at about a seven. I don't want to stress out when I am trying to tune out. If the old 90210 was a nice cold can of Coca-Cola, the new one is Mountain Dew. And I fucking hate Mountain Dew.

Editor's Note: Ike Diamonds is a cranky old man.


Now THAT is more like it...