Hawthorne: You Guessed It, Terrible

Let's face it, I knew before I even started this episode that this was not going to be a good show. I mean it's a show about a Nurse. What's next? A show about a Paralegal? Maybe a one-hour drama about the exciting life of a Meter Maid on the mean streets?

No one gives a shit about some nurse, we want to see the dashing Surgeon. Hawthorne's equivalent on House may as well be billed as "Lady Who Hands Stuff To House Before He Does Something Highly Unrealistic".

I had one reason to hold out hope that the show would be better than expected. The Shield and Life veteran Glen Mazzara serves as an Executive Producer and writer for Hawthorne. Unbeknownst to me he ALSO served as a writer for Nash Bridges. His Nash Bridges was definitely showing on the second season premiere. He gets full credit for this mess, as he even wrote this episode himself. His style of dialogue goes down about as smooth as a granite milkshake, made even worse by the fact that it's all delivered at a yell.

Example Dialogue:
Nurse Hawthorne: "They can't do that!"
Dr. Wakefield: "They just did."

Nurse Gail: "This is still my ER, I don't care what anyone says!"

Bill Buchanan: "She's been here nearly 20 years, she knows where the bodies are buried!"
Nurse Hawthorne: "That's because she buried them!"

I have one piece of praise for the show. Whoever puts their commercials together does a great job of conveying what the show is about. In the commercials it looks like Hawthorne (the Nurse) yells at the Doctors (her bosses) and is the only person who knows what the fuck to do in an Emergency Room. This is EXACTLY what the show is about.

I guess some people really like Jada Pinkett-Smith. But for the life of me I can't remember being excited about anything she has done since Menace 2 Society. Sure, she was hot as shit in The Matrix trilogy. But she was one "woah" away from outstiffing Keanu Reeves on the screen. If you take a look at her IMDB page it's clear that Jada's shrewdest career move was marrying Will Smith.

The very premise of this show is fucking retarded. Fortunately with American Idol on hiatus there are plenty of retards looking for stuff to watch. 3.4 million viewers watched the premiere of the second season. Look people, I know Tuesday is slim pickings, but sometimes it's just time to read a book. And if you just can't do that then DVR an awesome show like The Good Guys on Monday and save it for Tuesday.